When My Husband is Sick

There are Harry Potter references in here. Mind you, my (Lindsay) husband (Jesse) knows absolutely nothing about Harry Potter. He's never read the books or seen the movies and the only information he has about the stories are what he has heard from us and his students at school.

Right now, Jesse has a very mild cold. He will tell you he is knocking at death's door.

Jesse: I think I have a fever.
Me: Well then why are you taking Benadryl if you're sick? You should be taking a fever reducer like IBprofen.
Jesse: I don't know! It feels like Dementors are flying around my head!
(Jesse doesn't know what Dementors are other than they are bad. If you know what a Dementor is, you know what a gross exaggeration this statement is.)
Me: Oh yah? Dementors? How would you survive without me? You forget to eat, you take antihistamine allergy medicine when you have a cold...
Jesse: I don't know! Someone probably would have just taken me out back and shot me by now.

Later, when the subject of his ex-girlfriend came up.
Jesse: Yah, she was lame. SHE is a Dementor.
Me: Somehow I doubt that.
Jesse: Well...they sound mean, so there.

Jesse: You know, I was feeling good today. I was working next door and I was doing fine...
Me: It's funny how as soon as I show up, you start feeling TERRIBLE, but when I'm not around, you somehow feel just fine when there is no one to complain to or act sick around.
Jesse: Stooooop! I said I was feeling, a little bit better earlier.
Me: No, you said you were feeling good.
Jesse: You're like a Dementor.

Later this week, we're going to have a very special post. Jesse is going to watch his very first Harry Potter movie, but before he does, we are going to give him a Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone trivia quiz. We did this when we were all 4 beers deep at the Diamond Knot Brewery and the results were all kinds of hilarious. So, we're going to do it again and actually write everything down.