Monday, June 11, 2012

You Would Bang 20-Something Joseph Stalin, Too

Saturday morning, grandma was complaining about feeling faint. Mom took her to the hospital, and she was released later that afternoon. The rest of us were fairly anxious until we heard she was all right and on her way home. She may be teeny and 90, but she's a tough old broad. Sara, being a very politically correct and sensitive young lady, brought it up Sunday night over dinner.

Sara:’re still here, grandma!
Grandma: Am I?
Dad: Duh, Fran. You’re eating our food.
Grandma: Oh, right. I guess you just can’t get rid of me.
Mom: Watch what you say, because Sara will put this all up on the blog later.
Dad: Just like the elderly abuse.
Grandma: But I am abused!
Mom: I just made you Chicken Parmesan!
Grandma: Eh…it’s all right.

The other day at work, I (Lindsay) found this article* on the internet that had pictures of famous people depicting them in ways that don't generally come to mind when you think of them. 
I showed the family this picture of a 20-something Joseph Stalin**, and they were as surprised as I was by his handsomeness. 

Lindsay: Look at him! He's beautiful!
Jesse: WOW. Look at that scruffy, masculine beard and that full head of wavy hair. And those dark, brown eyes. I'd do him.
Lindsay: Are you done...? 
That's right. My husband told me he would bang one of the world's most notorious and evil dictators.  

Other reactions to this photo: 
Sara: Holy. Fucking. Shit. Young Stalin could do whatever the hell he wanted to me. Even if I knew what would happen when he rose to power.
Mom: He kind of looks a little like one of the Property Brothers. The one that does construction...and he was a biscuit.
Sara: Aren't they twins?
Mom: Yeah, but they don't look exactly the same.
Lindsay: I'm sure Joseph Stalin would have loved to be compared to some douche on HGTV.

* The word "article," is being used loosely, referring to information that any jack-off can figure out how to post on the internet.
**In case you for some inexcusable reason don't know who this guy is ( on you.

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