Lindsay: Well go home and have a whiskey. Jesse just finished his paleo challenge and turned in report cards so he is having one tonight!
Sara: I will. I might just get kind of silly by myself and be pathetic.
Lindsay: It's not pathetic. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD GIVE TO GET DRUNK AT HOME ALONE RIGHT NOW.
For Christmas, Lindsay got Dad the Girl With The Dragon Tattoo Trilogy. Naturally, she read them first. Seriously though. Read those books.
Lindsay: Dad is going to give you the 3rd Girl With The Dragon Tattoo book so you can bring it down on Sunday. If you forget it I will CUT you.
Sara: Not going to happen. I will intentionally leave it on my balcony.
Now that I actually have to interact with people at work on a regular basis…I really need to not be such a raging cunt in the morning. I don’t say anything, but any time anyone says pretty much anything to me before 10 all I can think in my head is “I want to fucking stab you right in your stupid goddamn fucking face.” Regardless of whether or not they’re actually bothering me. It’s a problem.
Lindsay: Meh. As long as you don't ACTUALLY say it. People might figure out that you're not a morning person and leave you alone until 10am though. So maybe you should keep this up.
Sara: That’s true. And it would be nice if I could somehow get that to be an unspoken policy with people. Maybe I’ll try operant conditioning? I should get some chocolate.
Lindsay: OOOOOOH. I like that. Psychological experimenting on unsuspecting co-workers. It's like we're real life super villains.
I got an email yesterday from Sara raging about some asshat she had to deal with who clearly is an expert in passive-aggressive-beat-around-the-bush communication techniques.
Sara: So one of the accounts I took over for is ______ and the account manager is down in ______. Last week he asked me to get a quote for a computer (which isn’t something we normally get quotes for). I got one from the distributor that sells laptops. Sent it over to him.
He said they needed some things changed. So I requested the change. Didn’t hear from the distributor for a few follow ups. Just now he calls me (a good 3 hours after I sent him the quote) and says that it needs to be changed yet again and gets all in my business about how he needs it today and blah blah blah. Keep in mind, our distributor is in Colorado so by the time he called me they are done for the day.
DUDE JUST TELL ME WHAT THE HELL YOU WANT. I CANNOT READ MINDS NOR AM I AN ENGINEER. AND ON TOP OF THAT, I NEVER FUCKING QUOTE COMPUTERS SO I REALLY DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING. GAH.
Lindsay:
Sara: Not so much that…but just TELL me what you want! I’ve now sent you 3 quotes based on EXACTLY what you told me you wanted, and each time you send it back for some sort of change and are getting irritated with me as if I should a) know what you want without you telling me or b) have done this before and be able to talk RAM and hard drive space with a fucking distributor. Please don’t get irritated with me because you can’t ask a question correctly.
Lindsay: I know. I just thought a donkey wearing a hard hat was funny. You're dealing with the government remember. Most government employees are about as efficient and competent at their jobs as sacks of poop.
Sara: No, I’m dealing with a coworker. That’s who I’m dealing with.
Lindsay: Well in that case, tell him to say what he means, get to the point, and quit talking to you like a Dandy.
Sara: Another guy came in here to give me a hard time over something, and I turned around (joking, btw) and said “I am SO done with you people not telling me what you want and then storming into my cube to tell me I did it wrong. It’s Monday! I cannot deal with you being incompetent!” Except I think he thought I was serious and was all like “We don’t know what we’re doing either, it’s fine!”
Lindsay: See? Donkey with a hard hat.
Sara: You're a donkey with a hard hat.
Lindsay: False. My job is so easy I know exactly what I am doing at all times.
From Sara to Mom, Dad, and Lindsay. Sara and Mom have been trying for a really long time to get my Dad to try pho, and he's just never shown any interest. Keep in mind that my mother kept my Dad CC'd in this conversation.
Sara: Apparently Dad likes pho now that EVERYONE else at work got him to go and try it. I'm so mad at him.
Mom: You can’t be serious? I love Pho and I always want to make it, and he always turns his nose up at it. What a little bitch
Lindsay: Meh. As long as you don't ACTUALLY say it. People might figure out that you're not a morning person and leave you alone until 10am though. So maybe you should keep this up.
Sara: That’s true. And it would be nice if I could somehow get that to be an unspoken policy with people. Maybe I’ll try operant conditioning? I should get some chocolate.
Lindsay: OOOOOOH. I like that. Psychological experimenting on unsuspecting co-workers. It's like we're real life super villains.
I got an email yesterday from Sara raging about some asshat she had to deal with who clearly is an expert in passive-aggressive-beat-around-the-bush communication techniques.
Sara: So one of the accounts I took over for is ______ and the account manager is down in ______. Last week he asked me to get a quote for a computer (which isn’t something we normally get quotes for). I got one from the distributor that sells laptops. Sent it over to him.
He said they needed some things changed. So I requested the change. Didn’t hear from the distributor for a few follow ups. Just now he calls me (a good 3 hours after I sent him the quote) and says that it needs to be changed yet again and gets all in my business about how he needs it today and blah blah blah. Keep in mind, our distributor is in Colorado so by the time he called me they are done for the day.
DUDE JUST TELL ME WHAT THE HELL YOU WANT. I CANNOT READ MINDS NOR AM I AN ENGINEER. AND ON TOP OF THAT, I NEVER FUCKING QUOTE COMPUTERS SO I REALLY DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING. GAH.
Lindsay:
Sara: Not so much that…but just TELL me what you want! I’ve now sent you 3 quotes based on EXACTLY what you told me you wanted, and each time you send it back for some sort of change and are getting irritated with me as if I should a) know what you want without you telling me or b) have done this before and be able to talk RAM and hard drive space with a fucking distributor. Please don’t get irritated with me because you can’t ask a question correctly.
Lindsay: I know. I just thought a donkey wearing a hard hat was funny. You're dealing with the government remember. Most government employees are about as efficient and competent at their jobs as sacks of poop.
Sara: No, I’m dealing with a coworker. That’s who I’m dealing with.
Lindsay: Well in that case, tell him to say what he means, get to the point, and quit talking to you like a Dandy.
Sara: Another guy came in here to give me a hard time over something, and I turned around (joking, btw) and said “I am SO done with you people not telling me what you want and then storming into my cube to tell me I did it wrong. It’s Monday! I cannot deal with you being incompetent!” Except I think he thought I was serious and was all like “We don’t know what we’re doing either, it’s fine!”
Lindsay: See? Donkey with a hard hat.
Sara: You're a donkey with a hard hat.
Lindsay: False. My job is so easy I know exactly what I am doing at all times.
From Sara to Mom, Dad, and Lindsay. Sara and Mom have been trying for a really long time to get my Dad to try pho, and he's just never shown any interest. Keep in mind that my mother kept my Dad CC'd in this conversation.
Sara: Apparently Dad likes pho now that EVERYONE else at work got him to go and try it. I'm so mad at him.
Mom: You can’t be serious? I love Pho and I always want to make it, and he always turns his nose up at it. What a little bitch
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